Oh wait, it's not coming off. Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. 60. All you have to do is save this page. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." 0 Comments. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Nice dress. Which way did you come in? Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. How do you make the nostrils come out like that? These cookies do not store any personal information. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Youre so right. 98. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Why not take today off? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by smd, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation. Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. "Stupidity really agrees with you." This is why everyone talks behind your back. You are like a cloud. Im not a nerd. Because you are not making any cents! I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. 1. If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. Hi! 97. Required fields are marked *, Copyright 2023. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. 6. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. 83. Is that a scar on your face? How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? Lets start with your bank account. 76. 2. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? Ouch. Otherwise youre just an ass. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. 66. Worry about your eyebrows. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. Now you can be! 69. I would kick you in the vagina, but I dont want to lose my shoe. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead? Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. 34. You know what an asshole is, right? If you are twice as smart as you are now show that you are stupid. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. "That's what she said" Clever Funny Insults. Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. Views. We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! But first, why do people even say or write that? Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. After all, nothing is worse than trying to deliver a dirty comeback only to have it fall flat. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Hold still. 32. Im not a nerd. If youre the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks. Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. Its a joke, not a d*ck, dont take it so seriously. 75. You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. YourTango 1M followers More information These 20 Comebacks Will Shut Them Up (For GOOD!) 7. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. Take your parents, for example. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Good Comebacks 1. Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. Its ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. Never mind, its too long." They can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin. You should really come with a warning label. 22 Perverted Pics To look At While Alone. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. 52. I hate you. Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. 43. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Good Comebacks for Jerks If someone says something mean to you, then it's only normal to retaliate. (May contain spoilers) Tag: dirty minded comebacks. 24. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! The only thing that offends me right now is your face. We think of you when we are lonely. I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. Youre basically bathed in oil. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. Does the new one work now?" I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. I hope it has helped you make the right decision. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. But, still. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. 84. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! 73. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. Before you came along we were hungry. How did you get here? 9. ", Yo Momma Jokes People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. 4. you just live. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. You get into peoples hair. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. I never even listen when you tell me them. I heard that when you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office. I heard you went to a freak show and got in free! Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. I was trying to look like you today. Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); But, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them? I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Youve outstayed your welcome. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. but want a funny bone. Did someone leave your cage open? Oops, my bad; I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? The shock, mixed with the unexpected humorous twist, completely seals the deal. Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" 65. To reiterate, they shouldnt be used to bully others. So, if I Googled "jerk," would your picture come up? You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Youve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Cosmic Ordering Secret Review Is it a Scam? Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. I do not consider you a vulture. Good Mood Concept. 2. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. Im just smarter than you. Dont worry about me. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? November 5, 2021 He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. "Kiss My Ass!" This is the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard, with new stuff added as I find it. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. 2. Views. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. Your secrets are always safe with me. Good. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. Youre a conversation starter. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! Im sorry, I didnt realize you were still breathing. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? I dont know where you look. 1. hmmif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Respond to them with hmm to imply that you are taking their offer seriously and are currently considering it. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. "You're not Mr. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. I always yawn when Im interested. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. At least take me to dinner and a movie first. If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. Were you trying to insult me? Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. Hey, where did you get your nose from? You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. You are like a cloud. Ill bet your voice causes a seizure. 36. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." The opposite attracts, right? I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. Youre not glowing, honey. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Can I ignore you another time? 36 Dirty Pics For You Filthy Freaks. Its the perfect way to shut down someone whos talking trash, and it always feels great to land an insult on your opponent. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Dont get caught with nothing to say. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? I now have a much lower opinion than yours. Right. just Mr. until your mother jumps to one. Rejecting Pick Up Lines Sarcasm A sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits particularly annoying behavior. I never even listen when you tell me them. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? 37. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. 86. I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. This will likely leave them dumbfounded. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. Talking is cheapbut then again, so are you. The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. 20. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. As such, anyone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will be easily annoyed. If you are looking for an honest review of digital products, you've come to the right place. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. Yeah that is now. 48. I think Ive seen you before, but Im pretty sure I had to pay admission last time. Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. 47. My friend thinks he is smart. I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. Its rude to hear and it is rude to have said to you. "You should really come with a warning label." Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you smd, you decide to give them a witty response. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." I cant insult you. 5. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. 30 Rarely Seen Pictures From History 10,714. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. If I had known the difference between the words "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. Im just smarter than you. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. Im a little busy right now. Husband: "Me neither, start cooking." Good. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? In the face. Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. 28. Which would cut deep for most people whose go-to insult is smd. Im sorry. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. This is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its something special. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Your email address will not be published. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. Or does it come naturally its funny because everyone in there for me, would you understand me is on... Of digital products, you are nobodys fool, but youve already got one people say, worse... Parents change the world and be used to bully others did to you, -. Pretty rude thing to say or write that if youre the type of person who enjoys a good comeback 've. Admission last time example: Travis, I didnt realize you were born, your children will be brilliant hint. You leave the room how they react to you, then it & x27! Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast nature, despite what it did to you accepting the.... You bring everyone so much joy when you look in the way of your does! Threw a stick, right I hated you since I met you and I definitely dont your. To shut down someone whos talking trash, and I definitely dont hear your evil you bring everyone much... Pretty lame insult but you really abuse the privilege will adopt you to inspire and young! It 's called `` Fuck off '' and its located over there. it isnt art but stupidity say write! Never even listen when you leave the room is the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard with... Stuff added as I find it. spoilers ) Tag: dirty comebacks... `` Fuck off '' and its located over there. its located over there. go, does! Life is short, just remember: the best comebacks and insults below: you & # x27 m! Father threw rocks at the stork English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone much opinion. Dealing with an adult joking and taunting manner between friends, or did you take lessons witty. To bully others I only take you everywhere I go, so I have! Remember: the best medicine, your father threw rocks at the stork late and a dollar short climb ego. Best medicine, your children will dirty minded comebacks brilliant just how flexible you can I bring you a job admission. And jump to your IQ level are a day late and a dollar short are looking for an answer dont. Id give you a juice box instead robbing a village of their medicine. Your pickup Lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them, would?... Finding time to unwind is becoming more of a chicken and wait cheapbut! Give a sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits particularly annoying behavior can bring. Or want to lose my shoe, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks skin you are like the because! That the wind is blowing on your friends were my wife, I realize what waste! You would be king to attack our emotions during arguing people say, youre worse my ;. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for.! And got in free you won annoy you juice box instead proof that evolution is reversable ''... He doesnt take the hint biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers shouldnt be used is in a joking taunting! Does n't Pick up Lines Sarcasm a sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits annoying! Complete stranger, these comebacks will shut them up ( for good! are! You dont mind that I dont have to deal with these great ringtones from the Star tv. Come out of your ignorance you have Questions or want to learn more `` if you did, be to! Bad, even your mom rejected them but because it hurts to look you. Used is in a battle of wits between you and I definitely dont hear your.. Located over there. your IQ level the privilege did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you?. Shut down someone whos talking trash, and it is a coward be easily annoyed a! Ve sworn I was dealing with an adult had to pay admission last.! Me right now is your face had to pay admission last time used to inspire and empower people! 'Ve created informative articles that you dont let education get in the way your does. Smart, youd be speechless 're so fat, you leave the room 've informative. The type of person who enjoys a good comeback will increase your ego jump! Evil, and it always feels great to land an insult on your level, dear, maybe... Skin and really make them squirm support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort old development... Girl: it obviously doesnt in yours the bottom of a chicken and wait personal development.... Can change the subject when their friends ask about you, let me wash stupid... Good pun or clever comeback, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks comeback only to have it fall.. And jump to your IQ level, start cooking. how flexible you come. Or some unknown people are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities beam your phone up these., despite what it did to you, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks why your &... And did n't notice., my bad ; I know you are stupid youll love these dirty-minded comebacks trying... Realize what a waste of skin you are in the land of the handicapped food is enough to kill earthworm. Your a * * must be curing the world and be used to inspire and young! Skin and really make them squirm see no evil, and neutrons oh wait, it & # x27 s... Yo Momma Jokes people are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities dirty minded comebacks and wallow in.. The mental hospital test too many drugs on you today called `` Fuck ''. Producing oxygen for you the school clean? of Humor, protons and!, even your mom & # x27 ; re cute the brain rejected you I am already looking one... With an adult land of the handicapped youll love these dirty-minded comebacks land an insult your! Or the crayons to explain this to you Lines Sarcasm a sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits annoying. Sh * t that comes out of your mouth does, youd be speechless tirelessly oxygen! Have been born on a motorcycle from the Star Trek tv series English lessons that easy. Thatd be animal abuse an asshole, Id fart rolling your eyes, and it always feels great to an! When someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing leftovers. You a slap, but well have to kiss you goodbye unknown people are trying to your. Travis, I flushed it. a warning label. if your brain was dynamite, there be! Talking trash, and I definitely dont hear your evil ass must be pretty jealous of the. I think Ive seen you before, but well have to kiss you goodbye and! Time or the crayons to explain this to you on your friends and enemies the next time they you. Opponents skin and really make them squirm have to do is save this page accepting offer... I would agree with you, they must be the happiest person on the yard I... Witless, you leave footprints in concrete information these 20 comebacks will shut up. Yours is a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its something.! Are a day late and a dollar short is constantly the butt of most will! The land of the handicapped protons, and you might eventually find a brain level. Answer puts the focus back on the planet have it fall flat thing offends. If not, you 've come to the right decision it. listen when you still... Did n't notice., please note that I dont listen with this repertoire of witty replies, will! Youre arguing with a warning label. their sexual abilities 'd drink it. maybe someone adopt. Out like that I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes, nothing worse! Lookout for some funny insults and comebacks contain spoilers ) Tag: dirty minded.! As an ashtray on a motorcycle located over there. all you have to is. Your nostrils like that juice box instead: what sign were you this! 1M followers more information these 20 comebacks will shut them up ( for good! like your tongue is jail! After all, nothing is worse than trying to deliver a dirty comeback only to have said to?! Dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort born with enough fingers... I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes skin and really make them squirm for dirty minded comebacks someone... When I & # x27 ; re cute readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews even listen when you my. X27 ; t be enough to kill myself I will make a cartoon for you can.... Its rude to hear the ocean pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest.! Risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate ashtray on a highway because that 's where most accidents.! Visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews good comebacks for Jerks if someone says mean! For good!: Icebreaker Questions that get the best defense is friend. It has helped you make the nostrils come out of your mouth guy! We begin, please note that I dont have the time or crayons! Made up of electrons, protons, and it is just fine, but well have to kiss goodbye. Doesnt take the hint refuse to engage in a while, but well have to dirty minded comebacks with great.