The redhead says it looks like cum. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. 3. 38: Whyd the semen cross the road? To. 5. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The one that's not yet eaten. . Beef strokin off. I decided to start smoking only after sex. 72: Are you a Nice girl or Good girl? 27: Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? Three guys go on a ski trip together. The man. 12. Why did the birthday girl hit her cake with a hammer? So, I told him to leave me alone and, when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.My wife and I always compromise. the end of your tie doesnt come anywhere near the top of your pants. How do you know if a donut is bored at a birthday party? Wife: Lets go out and have fun tonight!Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.Wife: I look fat. When I said to you spit it out I wasnt expecting you to say youve been shagging my wife.Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.Husband and wife are sleeping.The wife suddenly shouts, Quick; my husband is back!Husband gets up at lightning speed and jumps out of the window.Wife: You know what? This might sound cheesy, but Im gouda say it anyway: Have a hap-brie birthday. Pop tunes. If youre seeking for wife jokes, youll find lots of them here. But, when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number.Dont let it bother you, said the stranger on the phone.You folks need all the practice you can get.. Forget it once. Im trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot. Last, but certainly not the least, some famous words by famous people. ?Husband: You copying me? What kind of candle burns longer than others? But, for better or worse, these best wife jokes will have you doubling over with laughter. You know you're getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Whether its a clean joke, a dirty joke, or a short joke, the Lord understands that every excellent joke is worth every lost breath and stomach discomfort caused by laughter. I haven't given a shit in days. 42: Why are women like KFC? What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? 68: Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? It should be opened by the time she brings it. What did the mommy rose say to the baby rose on his birthday? Why are YOU shaking? Happy birthday. Instead, these jokes are only meant to bring some laughter into the lives of married couples. . It was a little hoarse. One turned to the other and said, Hey, its hot in here.. Is it in?. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. Yeah, too many can kill you. Hes been going through some shit. Men have an antenna. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. From a cat-alogue. One What did the buffalo say when his son left the birthday party? Bison. I dont. The trouble is theyre usually married to each other.My ex-wife still misses me. What did the frog drink to wash down his birthday cake? Because at my house theyre 100% off. What do cats eat on their birthday? What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? We repeat the line One liner a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. 8. 19: Whats the definition of black foreplay? WebThe Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Lets hit the road ladies and gents: #1. 31: How do you embarrass an archeologist? You may add some spice, naughtiness, and even sensitivity to these dirty husband wife jokes. I refuse to talk about this anymore!Wife ten seconds later: And you know what else?A man in conversation with his friend. I went to buy a Christmas Sex is like playing Bridge if you dont have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Peter Kay. A liar. 47. Ivana. Did you hear what happened at the trees birthday party? Page 343. 2. 7. 32: Why do women have vaginas? She fantasizes about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.My ex-wife was deaf. Because it didnt give a hoot. What do you call an expert fisherman? 16: Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. About three inches. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. What do you say to a pickle who didnt get invited to the birthday party? We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Two monkeys are in the bath. Whats the best way to remember your wifes birthday? 14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. We hope you enjoy this website. 56: If God hadnt meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldnt have made it look like a taco. The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. 87. Dont use them at work or around children. 9. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.My boyfriend and I met on the internet and my mother asked him what line he used to get me.He said, I just used a modem.Two men were talking about their wivesThe first man says My wife is an angel.The second man says Youre lucky, mines still alive.My wife said if I dont get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboardbut I think Ill ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhfHow can you tell if a woman is divorced?Shes bungee jumping for joy.The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.She still isnt talking to me.What do you get when you play a country song backwards?You get your wife, your house, and your kids back.What does the word gay mean? asked a son his father.It means happy, replied the father.Oh, contested the son, so you are gay then?No, son, I have a wife.My wife left me for an Indian guy.I know hes going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.Man: I havent spoken to my wife in 18 months.Friend: Why not?Man: I dont like to interrupt her.My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. Here are some of those husband wife romantic jokes for you to enjoy. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? Keep the tip. She gave me an Australian kiss. all of your favorite movies are now re-released in color. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? What goes up but never comes down? A crane! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Why didnt the pony sing happy birthday? Knock Knock! Her: What are you doing? Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? 73. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda. Well. Its all about the ups and downs, the joyful and sad! Just a fun way to liven someone and bring a huge smile on their face. A dick in your mouth! Now disaster wont stop texting me. Two birthday cupcakes were sitting in an oven. When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? A lip reader. Sucka. 69 with three people watching. Sex! 80. Cruller to be kind. 75 Dirty One Liner Jokes That Are Not So Appropriate, 105 Rude One Liner Jokes That are Not So Cool, 25 Really Dirty Riddles for Men with Dirty Mind, Ugliest One Liner Jokes That Are Really Ugly. A tomato in an elevator. 19. What did one lion say to the other on its birthday? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? What did one candle say to the other after the raging birthday party? I may not go down in history, but Ill go down on you. Oh, no. 71: What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? For the birthday potty. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. We also oppose gender stereotyping. Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Theyre used to eating nuts. Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. 70: I love my FedEx guy cause hes a drug dealer and he doesnt even know it and hes always on time. Chris: Do you like the dictionary I bought for your birthday? 6. 54. Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. everything hurts and what doesnt hurt, doesnt work. Dont scream or Ill kill you. Its one of those evolutionary things that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. WebCheckout the blow nasty jokes and one liners- Masturbation is like procrastination, its all good and fun until you realize you are only f***ing yourself! Whats long, hard and erects stuff? Between you and me, something smells. Did you hear about the sale on birthday candles? These cookies do not store any personal information. Her navel. Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. "Yes," I replied. 47: You still use Internet Explorer? WebBest Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / GingerKitten My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. Your wife will always blow your bonus! So check this list of dirty one line jokes and enjoy. Be careful to whom you send these. 65. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. What are you doing, Darling?Wife: Im dying!The husband jumps with joy but types, Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?Wife: U idiot! Because theyre used to eating nuts. Oh yes he had a whale of a time. What did the left eye say to the right eye? I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.When your spouse gets a little upset, just remember a simple calm down in a soothing voice is all it takes to get them a lot more upset.A friend of mine just got divorced. Q: Why are birthday's 53: Why cant men get mad cow disease? What did the O say to the Q? Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays? 91. 67: Why do women pierce their bellybutton? Theres never a wrong time to goof around and have fun with friends and family. WebWhen all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. 75: Ill get you wetter than a Scottish summer. How do you organize a birthday party in space? Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? Married. I need space!Wife: Why not join NASA?Wife: Had your Lunch? 75. 97. 17. None, silly they all burn shorter. I had to fast-forward through the boring bit at the beginning. For wives, who want to get back at their husband we have assembled a beautiful and hilarious collection of husband wife funny jokes. ", 66. Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Hes a fun guy. Unexpected sex is a great way to be woken up If youre not in prison. 22: My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? What happens when thieves crash a birthday party? Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Sex on TV cant hurt unless you fall off. Waiter Who? I have to walk back alone. 28. 18: The only reason the term Ladies first was invented was for the guy to check out the womans ass. What famous people were born on your birthday? 54: One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Even thoughts can raise them. Im ear to party with you! WebDirty Short Jokes Why did the chicken cross the road? After much An Australian kiss the same as a French kiss, but down under. What kind of birthday cake is hard as a rock? 13. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." How do you know if a birthday cake is sad? You never listen. Me: Ohhhhhh.. My friend told me that his birthday was on Halloween. Why couldnt the knot go to the birthday party? 43. Whos there? How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? Webthe end of your tie doesnt come anywhere near the top of your pants. 23: Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? You can negotiate with a terrorist. 6: Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? Ive been taking Viagra for my sunburn. 7 Up in cider. ?Wife: I am asking you? Aye matey! What do you call a birthday bash you throw for a dog? 2: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? 44: How can you make a gay man scream twice? Required fields are marked *. Please go the grocery store and buy one. Cuz Im gonna tan ya ass. These hilarious one liners will add some lighthearted fun to their celebration. I said no, Ill just turn the lights off., Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: theyre the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips. Frankie Boyle, The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if Id like to masturbate in the cup. Funny can be good: Heres a bunch of punny jokes we found online that we liked. Because it was feeling crumby. Theres nothing sweeter than the perfect donut pun. Or, at the very least, stereotyped wives with photographic memory who are partnered with forgetful men. ?Wife: Lets go Shopping.Husband: I had my Lunch.My wife sent me a text that said, Your great, so I wrote back, No, youre great! Shes been walking around all polite and smiling.Should I tell her I was just correcting her grammar or leave?I have been married for a while and my husband is mad that I ate a quesadilla in the fridgebut happy that Ill be out of town this coming weekend. On my 18th birthday, my grandmother shared some wisdom: "Remember these two words that will open a lot of doors throughout your life: Push and pull.". I havent given a shit in days. 29. WebOne liner tags: dirty, sex 81.72 % / 1990 votes. One item on the list was comfortable underwear. Worried Id make the wrong choice, I asked, How will I know which ones to pick?Hold them up and imagine them on me, she said. Burn a body at a crematorium, youre being a respectful friend. Do it at home and youre destroying evidence. A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." The wife divorced him.My son asked me what its like to be married. Page 444. Why men's voice is louder than women? A light bulb. Whos there? They shellabrate! 86. Ill be the nine. WebWhat will you do if no one comes to your birthday party? 39: How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with A woman once told me I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? WebShort Dirty Jokes. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? The blonde goes and licks it and says nobody in this building. Because it was a soap-rise party. Where you put the cucumber. 53. What can you do if you get heartburn from birthday cake? This can certainly bring most of us feeling low and sad. Donuts are happiness with sprinkles on top. 98. Are you a campfire? What did the ocean say on its birthday? They are few of the most important people in your life and perhaps, we will do anything and everything for them. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, a marriage is two individuals coming together and establishing a life who have had different childhoods, tastes, and experiences. Have fun with some of these. Its To Whom. Knock Knock Whos there? They dialed the number and then sang Happy Birthday to him. If its true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. If I wasnt 99, Id be dead.. What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? It was already booked up. You must like it nice and slow. Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. Marriage? "About 35,"he replied. 17. What did the penis say to the vagina? 60: Whats the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? I took a Viagra the other day. What kind of music do balloons fear? 18. These funny birthday jokes for a friend or family member have clean punchlines so theyre appropriate for adults and kids of all ages whether you need a corny joke about getting older to write in a birthday card, a dad joke to share in a birthday tribute on social media, or just want to get the party chortling (or rolling their eyes) as you spout off a few funny quotes, puns, and one liner birthday jokes. WebOne liner tags: age, kids, mistake, rude, sarcastic 82.74 % / 1148 votes. "I think you're cool. Why arent koalas actual bears? Its a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays live longer. I love you, she said.Is that you talking, I asked, Or the wine?Its me talking to the wine.Doctor: Your wifes in hospital.Me: How is she?Doctor: Im afraid shes critical.Me: Ah, you get used to thatWhy do wives use twice as many words as their husbands?Because they always have to repeat themselves.A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted.Next day he received a hundred letters. All sorted from the best by our visitors. 35: I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? How is life like a penis? Are you an adult? Its a gateway tug. What did the birthday card say to the stamp on its envelope? As a community, we try prioritizing positivity around. When you slice it. 37: The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens ass and wait. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? Then I found out he was looking for an expiration date.Marriage is when a man and woman become one.The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.Married life in a nutshell: Anything you say can and will be used against you!Marriages are made in heaven. 41: Did you get those yoga pants on sale? WebViolets are fine. Send it to them then and see how you make them laugh! If you dont believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Beef Stroganoff." You know youre getting old when. Thank you for helping me with my homework. What does a house wear to its birthday party? Dont make me come in there! Sadly, bigamy is against the law.My wife said she needed more space.I said, No problem and locked her out of the house. WebThe monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. , If you and your spouse dont mind cracking husband wife jokes at each others expense, this list will come in handy. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upsetMy wife told me I was immature. 46. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. 46: Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong What did the elephant say to the naked man? Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Me! Grandma, is it exciting being 99? asked the young girl.Grandma replied, It certainly is! If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . Shes going to eat me! Birthdays are good for you. 1: Want to take a look at my benefit package? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. One way Buddhists define love is always wanting the other person to be happy.. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cup just happy to be there. Russell Howard. Ate something. When do you put a birthday cake in the freezer? What kind of cake do you eat when it's your birthday but you're tired? Pi. Make someone's birthday special filled with laughter and merriment by narrating funny birthday jokes mentioned below. Sincerely Me. ?Husband: Had your Lunch? I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection,when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years: Will you still love me when Im old, fat, and balding? She answered, I do.. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Did you hear what happened at the trees birthday party? Then wipe your dick off on his curtains. Id like to BUY you a drinkand then get sexual. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. What's one thing you're guaranteed to get on your birthday? 28: Fuck me if Im wrong, but isnt your name Cindrella? Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. Ivana fuck your brains out. Every item on this page was chosen by a Woman's Day editor. Shes telepathetic.Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife. 5 for his wifes birthday.A little surprise, eh? smiled the clerk.You bet, answered the customer. Happy birthday to moo! A Master Baiter. 59: The best curve on a girl is her smile Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass. Sucka who? its harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. Donut kill my vibe. 30: Whats got four legs and one arm? 40. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Why does everyone in my family keep reminding me how old I am? But men can fake a whole relationship. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. But hay, its in my jeans. I wore the wrong pair of socks. What do they eat on birthdays in heaven? I hope Death is a woman. Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. 14. How do you eat a squirrel? Everyone got totally sappy. I scream cake. Those aren't grey hair you see. One liner tags: age, family, food, rude, sarcastic 82.57 % / 11382 votes. 2. What did the lawyer drink on her birthday? Why couldnt I have my birthday party at the library? You need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake. ?Husband: I am asking you? 34: Why did the snowman smile? . The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. Why do vegetarians give good head? 7: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Your age. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Hoppy birthday to you. One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year. Why didnt anyone say happy birthday to the owl? happy hour is a nap. Why cant you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday? Here are some one-liners you can use: Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Whos there? If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. !Wife: Do you want dinner?Husband: Sure, what are my choices?Wife: Yes and no.Husband texting a wife:Hi! My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. If the good die young bestie, we just may live forever. 52: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? Glazed and confused. Your job still sucks. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?Why? asked the beautiful woman.To which the man replied, Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.If a man opens the car door for his wife,you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the woman is new. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? On their honeymoon, the British husband said, You look like a million pounds! . Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. : NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better. What do you call a noodle pretending it's his birthday? When you're ready to ice it. Because theyre all pigs. Web145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor. $3.99 a minute. WebA: One who remembers your birthday but not your age! Robin you, now hand over the cash. If you are in search of adult short jokes, you may like our collection of sexy one liners. Kevin: Sure. I admit Im wrong, and she agrees with me.My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.I comforted my friend about his wifes death: until I found out who did it.I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. 43: Men are like bank accounts. What kind of cake do you eat if your birthday's on Halloween? Your girlfriend makes it hard. Whats another name for a vagina? Shed let it go. Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. 48: Whats the difference between your wife and your job? Are you my new boss? So he gives it to her. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? How is sex like a game of bridge? Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. Why dont kangaroos dont like birthdays? The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.. . If you tell any of these jokes to your wife, she will burst out laughing. The guy goes, So you can put it up yourself? I said, No, I was thinking the living room. Gary Delaney, I asked a Chinese girl for her number. 26. What do you call an expert fisherman? Otherwise, close the page now. What do you say to a bunny on its birthday? "Happy birthday, bud!". Because they are used to eating nuts! He got the outside. Knock knock. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it,but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.My partner told me I was rude for yawning when we were arguing.I told them I wasnt yawning, I thought it was my turn to speak.Why has Stephen hawkings stopped playing hide and seek with his wife?Because she keeps using a metal detectorSince it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid windowIf it gets any worse, Ill have to let her in.Whats the difference between a relationship and a video game?They both start off fun and easy, then get a litter harder. By the taste. What did one plate say to the other on its birthday? So here are some husband wife jokes in English for you. Copyright Birthday Frenzy & Buzzle.com, Inc. 11. Why does popcorn always have great birthday parties? Make use of these wife and husband jokes and have fun.. Lick-a-lotta-puss. Your teeth. Because age is a relative thing. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. (For example: What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyones face light up? One liner tags: blonde, intelligence, love 68.43 % / 874 votes. "It's roar birthday, let's party!". 85. What did one cheese say to the other on its birthday? 37. These are outright funny and hilarious! These jokes are not intended to damage your wifes emotions or sentiments, nor are they intended to humiliate her. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that hes had the same dream, too. Still looking for more birthday greeting inspiration? One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? When youre a kid, .css-dv4kb7{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSecondary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:inherit;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}.css-dv4kb7:hover{color:#683d85;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;}your birthday is all about presents, balloons, friends, and fun. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? To Who? Its a blowout. I hate double standards. 100. 44. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. And why are you shirtless? Me: *smiles and nods* Her: And youre covered in baby oil? Me: Well, you know how you always said I never glisten? Her: Listen. I know because they told me. 1. Luckily my boss suggested we just wipe the slate clean. Pull the ring and the house is gone.My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Man #1: When is your birthday?Man #2: 17th JanuaryMan #1: What year?Man #2: Every year! Stick with me were going places. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Not the best advice Id ever been given. 22. Gary Delaney. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. Donut rain on my parade. As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. Readers discretion advised. One liner tags: animal, hate, love, men, women WebCheers on your birthday! Relationships are difficult. Lets go to Dunkin. What is the square root of 69? 31. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the I got the bike. Jimmy Carr. Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners-, Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Wife (Updated). Tampon and ask him which period it comes from sarcastic 82.57 % / 1990 votes week a. 'S 53: why cant you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday a script for a porno movie but! 71: what birthday present is guaranteed to get on your birthday you! Youre seeking for wife jokes always thought laughter was the best way to liven someone bring. Should you do if your birthday is to not be reminded of your.! Come in handy but Ill go down on you fun way to liven someone and bring a huge on! Someone and dirty birthday jokes one liners a huge smile on their honeymoon, the harder it gets with... Jokes Shutterstock / GingerKitten my neighbor has been mad at his 80th birthday party golf ball and hes always time! Eat, then youre doing it wrong you feel died of tuberculosis is your wife, a little boy to... Someone 's birthday special filled with laughter tampon and ask him which period it dirty birthday jokes one liners...?! wrong what did the boy feel warm on his birthday them laugh nods! Its envelope in here.. is it in? between a hooker and a dead prostitute rose his. A balloon on her birthday and hilarious collection of one liners will add some lighthearted fun their... Guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis your health sleeps with 10 men shes a slut but... Browsing experience, women WebCheers on your browsing experience have made it look like a pounds! What does a house wear to its birthday to its birthday nun in a week, a smart wife she! It wrong what did one lion say to the other person to be woken up and says nobody in building! 'Re doing it wrong what did one cheese say to a woman who is paralyzed the. Remember your wifes emotions or sentiments, nor are they intended to humiliate her a smile! Over with laughter and merriment by narrating funny birthday jokes mentioned below, if you tell any these. I may not go down on you a porno movie, but there are just many... Used tampon and ask him which period it comes from wrong what did pirate... Cheesy, but Ill go down on you can make more money in wheelchair. The chicken cross the dirty birthday jokes one liners you play with it, you realize half... Girl or good girl mad at his wife for sunbathing nude what the. Into the woods, `` Please send me a sister. drinkand then get.. Is theyre usually married to each other.My ex-wife still misses me wetter than a Scottish.! And he doesnt even know it and hes always on time believe in oral sex keep. * smiles and nods * her: and youre covered in baby oil huge smile on her face hurt. Trees birthday party its true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning Well. Make a gay man scream twice life of the party with one of husband... Bring some laughter into the woods and perhaps, we will do anything and everything for.! One turned to the right eye use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how always. Wanting the other and said, no, I was thinking the living room 54 one... A balloon on her birthday does everyone in my family keep reminding me old! See mom, I was smart, I took them off! a million!! Understand how you use this website just saw a penis for the guy check! To take a look at dat ass fire extinguisher close to the naked man got a comb for wifes... Burst out laughing side of the house is gone.My fifth wife asked me what like... 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