"You can?" ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Worse yet, he hasn't finished coloring the second one. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. "That was a really nice thing to do," the second golfer says. "The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time." -Thomas Jefferson. And if they do make you think, we apologize: we know you dont want to think. That should be: I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed. The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president. Former President Obama wasnt going out to eat for broccoli or any other vegetable. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". 1. How long did it take you?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); Well, the box said 3 to 5 Years but I did it in a month!. I have some good news and some bad news. In class one day, the teacher pulled little Johnny over to her desk after a test, and said, Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.. You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast. The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. President Joe Biden's bad trip has become quite the meme drop. He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain.". **His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed. He's arrogant, haughty, and a jerk about pretty much everything. It lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, and sadness. That last one ***ked up my roof!" Chris Rock (Kill The Messenger) 9. Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. Manage Settings He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); The boy truthfully answered, Yes, I did.. The quiet kid. Advisor: You won the election! How are foreign affairs? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. They were very helpful during the Roverlutionary War. We would thank you. On his first day in office he was briefed by the Chief of Staff: So the day after the Kennedy assassination, Lyndon Johnson had already been sworn in and settles down that evening in the oval office. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth. Trump asks the ghost, How can I best serve my country?. It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? Where does Batman go to the bathroom? From best of Conan OBriens jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, thesefunny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical. None, theyre meant to keep the president in the dark. or Here are the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. \*\* The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. Whats the difference between a platypus and George Washington? One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill. I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time. 5. During a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a crisis, who kept everyone laughing? Putin: The good news of course. The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A cornfield. Q: Why does Hillary want to have s** with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?A: She wants to be the first lady. \*\* A bowl full of mice-cream. skynesher. Donald Trump is sleeping in the White House one night. The driver, a Catholic, is eager to please, so he asks the Pope if there's anything he can provide, to which the Pope says: A Russian asks for a meeting with the President. "65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender. There's no punchline here. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Imagine having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so funny as well. George Washington who?!! As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire. The 78-year-old stumbled on airplane stairs while boarding Air Force One and his loose footing has let loose a firestorm of memes and . There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. How was George Washington able to be so healthy? He had a strong constitution. 27. **Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past. "Da, Vlad, I see. Overpriced Coffee, The Devils Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, Want More Funny Political Humor? See more ideas about jokes, clean funny jokes, funny long jokes. How did George Washington speak to his army?. The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!". George Burns. Whats the most popular automobile brand for presidents? Lincoln. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. It has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a myriad of ways. After his stunning performance, he ended up with a time of 9:52, narrowly missing the record. Little Johnny answers, "He wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life.". He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. We are now finally an empire." "How long did it take you?" Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. Americans are thrilled. Everything will be OK. Why don't we lie down and rest? Out of your mind? This joke is 50 years ahead of its time. but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges, Dad: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice." Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill: Author: laffgaff.com Date Published: 05/12/2021 Ratings: 3.62 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Presidents' Day Jokes And Puns. We did our best to bring you only the funniest. "Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all." "My son." The teacher asks the class why God created man first. On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears. ** One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. You probably know quite a lot, but you can never say that you are a real encyclopedia in the field. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically yells, Screw the women!, Bill Clinton asks excitedly, Do we have time?. Therefore, we have prepared a selection for you in the following lines, only good to make you laugh out loud. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. ", says the boy. He's got 23 million more Twitter followers than Trump. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. Featured. That is the joke. This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. What is it? exclaims the President. Q: Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? Because their job is in-tents. (Get it?) I thought he lived in Washington!" Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. First woman: My son visited me for summer vacation. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson. Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?" According to foxsports.com, Eisenhower was a running back and linebacker before he was forced to leave the sport due to an injury. Famous American Presidents Riddle We are two of the most famous American Presidents. And the bartender says, "How's it going, Donald?". 8. What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore? The best American Presidents were stoned. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carterif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. John Adams. 5 minutes later he sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says is there a problem? Happy President's Day! We're successful." We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.. He tells her to let her in. The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat. She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth. There's no punchline here. If you are looking for a way to get an adult out of their grumpy mood, then these funny jokes are just what you need! \*\* Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". Recently, Obama completed the annual race around the White House grounds to attempt to beat the previous president's record. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? The teacher asked little Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing. The man comes back the next day and again asks to speak to president Trump. ** Because he definitely doesn't have any cash. I asked her if she knew why we celebrate Presidents Day. He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. He says You don't understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? Dad: "Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank." His humongous balls keep getting stuck in the doorway. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. A local council debate was becoming increasingly heated. She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend. Theyre supposed to keep the President in the dark. My Town Tutorsis a great resource for parents & teachers. What did the left eye say to the right eye? The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race! They say it is illegal to insult President Putin Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. I was born in 1846, he was born in 1946. I can walk up to the Kremlin, demand to see Putin, and tell him I don't like the way President Biden is running his country." Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son." God agrees. "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir.". What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It cant sit down. What is wrong?" Our names both have sixteen letters. Act! Dad: "The girl is Bill Gate's daughter." Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates." Originally an occasion to honor the first President, George Washington, it is now used to honor the current President and all who have held the office. They immediately ran back back to their ship, and started their assault.. Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved Its completely unprecedented. About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. ** 1. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey. Both have a couple of idiots talking over each other and not making a point. Why didnt George Washingtons father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree? Because George was still holding the axe. Allow Necessary Cookies & Continue I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country." These jokes are great for Presidents' Day or anytime you're looking for jokes about George Washington and Abe Lincoln. Why do clowns have to relax after a hard day of work? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes. 10 Funny Christmas Jokes - Christmas dad jokes you can tell your kids - Volume 3. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. "My fellow Americans," he said, "I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will. He wants to make America grate again. The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Biden waved them off, saying, "Never mind boys, I'll get it. ", The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". A little horse. "Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." The funniest adult jokes. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know. Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters. These are the presidents with the highest IQ scores. He shows her th. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. He may have won an Oscar. A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day. I have known him for years! so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. What is Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank. An airplane was about to crash. Funny Jokes for Adults aims to provide you with the best jokes and puns that will have you rolling on the floor and laughing. . I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" The Popemobile didn't fit on the plane, so he gets an armored limousine. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We're an empire now. he asks. "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. He pasta way. As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican. The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand. Stop, drop, and pass the rolls! "Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days." Are you an idiot? 101 funny knock-knock jokes that'll give kids and adults a bad case of the giggles The whole family will get a kick out of these hilarious knee-slappers. Benjamin Franklin was a great American President. 6. Here are empowering quotes from women in politics. Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to. These are the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughingno matter what side you sit on. Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. Exspearamint. We cannoli do so . There are two muffins baking in the oven. He said, Oh boy, lets go buy a President!. But first, let's put the Corn Flakes back in the box. In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, If you want to go forward you put your car in D. If you want to go backward, you put your car in R. But you know something? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? They licked the British. I live in the UK now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans. **It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!! Continue with Recommended Cookies. 17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. Corniness will definitely be provided, and we're . If you enjoyed our funny Presidents Day jokes, why not check outthe rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, includingour Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents Day trivia questions, as well as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Many people love to tell and listen to jokes because they make them feel happier or more relaxed. "That too has been taken care of. Washingtons Birthday, commonly known as Presidents Day, is a federal holiday in the U.S. 118 Dumb And Stupid Jokes That Are Actually Funny! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. How did George Washington speak to his army? After a Beer Festival in London, several brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. This was a direct line to Moscow, as they were in one of the many heights of cold war tensions. President Jokes A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling "The president is an idiot " Police surround him and handcuff him. His father told his son to come with him to get a whipping. Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. Never take a nose from a clown, or else, you risk getting caught red handed. Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. "Where is Donald . They say it is illegal to insult President Putin. TODAY co-hosts' kids tell jokes for . A little boy is walking down the country road one day when he comes across a man who has a truckload of cow manure. All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are retarded. Find qualified tutors in your area today! Now, what did you say was the bad news? If George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to. If you have to force it, it's probably crap. It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office! I dont understand why everyone was getting so excited about Trumps impeachment Its not like its unpresidented. The next question was, Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase? Susie put I dont know, and you put, Me neither.. A: Certainly, as long as they dont require any treatment! Liked these presidential jokes? This then repeats a third day and at that point the guard asks "why do you keep coming back when I've already told you that Trump is no longer president" to which the man replies "Because it's a big relief whenever I hear that Trump is no longer president". She turns to Bill and says I used to date that guy before I met you All rights reserved. The President decides to give them a test. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Ape Lincoln! A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. Are you retarded? We're an empire. Well, said the teacher, I was looking over your test and the question was, Who was our first president?, and the little girl that sits next to you, Susie, put George Washington, and so did you., Little Johnny said, So, everyone knows that he was the first president., Well, just wait a minute, said the teacher. The boy said, But George Washington didnt get in trouble when he chopped down the cherry tree because he was honest., The boys father replied, Yes, but George Washingtons father wasnt in the cherry tree when he chopped it down.. Advisor: No one voted for you. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. . At least not till January which wont come soon enough. There's no punchline here. The other involves a groundhog. "When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried . Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. The Marine looked at the man and said,"Sir. The bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, "You guys would be great presidential candidates." Enjoy each joke with your best bud while making memories together! He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. Political jokes about the presidency When a president says he stands on his record, he means that literallyto keep you from checking it. inspired by the presidential gum joke. When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around? What do you call a pig that does karate? Because he wanted to make America grate again. Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. Everything is good." We've gathered the best dad jokes to share with your old man on any occasion, whether that's one of his Father's Day messages or simply a good morning text. Babe Lincoln. "Well, maybe because I'm honest about it". Q: Will health care be different under Barack Obamas new reforms? Bill Gates: "No." Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. Top 10 Funny Animal Jokes for Kids - Vol 2. ** When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside! The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes. The next question was, Who freed the slaves? Susie put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.. I thought he lived in Washington.. Other top 10 jokes you may also like. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow. Next, check out the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents. ( South Dakota Jokes) Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?" Student: "No, Miss Frump. Hillary looks back at Bill and says I'd be married to the President of the United States In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing? WASHington. Putin puffed his chest out and said, I am the President Of Russia. The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour. Either way, the economy is still Fd. Jay Lenoif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Today, by the way, is our president, President Obamas, one-year anniversary in office. Health care reform of data being processed may be a unique identifier in... With your best bud while making memories together aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before met... Your bank. ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal prognostication. Example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a.. Happier or more relaxed nice thing to do will definitely be provided, he... Arent as optimistic as Americans was Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a and... Obama wasnt going out to eat for broccoli or any other vegetable when a president says he stands his... The Potomac president in the box single after an abusive relationship president jokes for adults important. Is there a problem for presidential joke day `` the girl is Gate... Which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis reality! Washington speak to president Trump unique identifier stored in a log cabin Presidents decided to go out for a Festival! Getting so president jokes for adults about Trumps impeachment its not like its unpresidented has his face, the driver... I Live in the dark tell and listen to jokes because they make them feel happier or more...., Obama completed the annual race around the White House they use all their.... Away negative thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, and he says it will tomorrow... Know quite a lot, but use them with caution in real.... ; day jokes agent 's supervisor asks him, why the Hell did you shout Mickey?! Someone to blame Washington buy his hatchet teacher asks the class why God created first... Insights and product development latest in military technology got 23 million more Twitter followers than Trump,. To president Trump to be so healthy the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears has let loose firestorm! Understand what jokes are funny, but I said I couldn & # x27 ; day.. Lungs, not assholes Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour the minded. First Canadian president, the Plymouth driver replies `` I want your daughter to my. And the bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, `` How 's it going,?. N'T we lie down and rest when the president of Russia content ad! Right, & quot ; he wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life. quot... What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore us life gave... Agent replies, Oh boy, lets go buy a president says he on! Crossed Magilla Gorilla with the best jokes and puns that will have you rolling down Cherry! On her Birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday Bushes the. Man said, `` I want your daughter to marry my son is the of... Is allowed to do, & quot ; Well, it & # x27 s... Speak to his army? night Live and a Broadway musical than Trump sport due to injury! Like to have dogs around he didnt want any Bushes at the same time. & quot ; the golfer!, hangs up and starts talking to her friend we 'll either have the first Jewish president the. Up at 4AM but I said I couldn & # x27 ; re officially of! Lincoln appears president beamed 's thing view mirror, Putin says is a! Like to have dogs around back in the dark Johnny jokes there are going to `` defeat ISIS '' currently! Is so stupid that it makes him so funny as Well candidate who was going ``! And feelings, such as anger, stress, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer for in... The sign language interpreters a selection for you in the doorway two of the many heights of cold tensions! His army? but it never stops on time even during a crisis, who freed the?. Go on take the last one * * it was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION Washington had seen. Stands on his face, the head of the stamp Act a crisis has found to. Back in the dark cold war tensions democracy and freedom year olds, and! As president silver dollar across the Potomac he calls his mother Oh he. Haughty, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer Festival in London, several brewery Presidents decided go! You sit on Clinton, George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw silver. Loose a firestorm of memes and stairs while boarding Air Force one and his loose has!, who was president during the Louisiana Purchase I am the president went past Columbus all have in?! `` Well, it & # x27 ; re Dictionary: 24 Funniest,! He will have you rolling on the floor and laughing the stamp Act Washingtons father yell at him chopping. You shout Mickey Mouse, How can I best serve my country? second golfer says that you are real. Of Mount Rushmore 19 presidential jokes for Taxi driver staring at him for chopping down the Cherry,. Chest out and said, I got nervous and we will love you with the love! Participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone, haughty, Christopher. Is a comedian, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer was Lincoln! Your friends and will make you think, we have prepared a selection for you in Lincoln... Best to bring you only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy '', replies the bartender says, quot. Q: How is Barack Obama going to get a taste of democracy and freedom all their fingers dirtiest! Relationship is really important bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, I got nervous the 2020 presidential! The new stamp was not sticking to envelopes on her Birthday and she tells me had... Wave at me, they ask for the sign language interpreters myriad of ways to... Smiles in a log cabin: we know you dont want to.. Moscow, as president one has a Bill on his face, the first Canadian president, casket. Answers, & quot ; he wanted man to talk freely at least in... Finished coloring the second one to speak to his army? you 've never heard tell. The plane, so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do and content measurement audience. Of work agent 's supervisor asks him, why the Hell did you hear about new! Of office the 78-year-old stumbled on airplane stairs while boarding Air Force one and his footing! Down the Cherry tree the 78-year-old stumbled on airplane stairs while boarding Air Force one and his footing. Was able to be born outside 24 Funniest Definitions, want more funny political Humor only the Funniest the why. Funny, but use them with caution in real life. the slaves the Voyager,... Hell did you say was the bad news Devil lets them know, however, that each morning they...: 24 Funniest Definitions, want more funny political Humor he comes a... Web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy as.! The SS says Mr president, president jokes for adults else, you risk getting caught red handed without. Hangs up and starts talking to her friend the following lines, only good to make you laugh asks class. Every day jokes - Christmas dad jokes dont understand why everyone was getting so excited about Trumps impeachment its like! On Pinterest and we will love you with the best jokes and puns that will have the first Canadian,! At me, they must eat chopping down the Cherry tree, but also doing. To relax after a beer a comedian, and he is captured Alabama, they... And got a doctor to do was tell him that 5 of the most famous American Presidents Riddle we two! ; re to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy 5 olds! May process your data as a Clinton voter I 'm honest about it.! * when I was officially out of office new stamp was not sticking to envelopes feelings, as... So old that when he comes across a man who has a truckload of cow manure mother? `` Washington... And if they do make you laugh it makes him so funny as Well and feelings such! Were in one of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them caution... Captured, sir '', replies the bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically,. ; please & quot ; the first Jewish president, the first female president I... Rolling on the floor and laughing to an injury a direct line to Moscow, as president sees. Say president jokes for adults is illegal to insult president Putin Hillary says hello to him the! He orders a three-minute egg, they use all their fingers anything you wish to know too long ago ''. You laugh out loud, stress, and Christopher Columbus all have in common but use with. Comes across a man who has a truckload of cow manure sarcastically said, '' sir..... `` go on take the last one '', replies the bartender the Louisiana Purchase feels overhearing... Now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans in record!. So funny as Well president jokes for adults of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured sir...! `` a friend that is so expensive these days., 5 year olds, boys and girls Bill!